G.I. Joe Retaliation (2013)

 In 7 words or less: Rock lays the smack down on Cobra

What's it all About? It's dual threat time as the covert ops team known as G.I. Joe continue their fight against Cobra but now also have to contend with clandestine forces within their own chain of command. 

Best bits? Cobra Commander is cool. 

Did it make you think thoughts? Two plots threads are followed up from the first film (Zartan impersonating a high ranking official and the Snakes Eyes/Storm Shadow history lesson) but to be honest a casual fan diving straight into this will easily be confused. That said, it's 50% sequel and 50% reboot. Yes, some characters return but lots don't and we are introduced to a multitude of new heroes and villains the main of which is Roadblock played by Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson. 

Confession time. Back in the day I was a big wrestling fan and one of my faves was none other than The Rock. I liked this guy:

What I'm now not a fan of is this guy. 

The stupid grinning, the cheesy posturing, the crumby film choices, bleh. At least in this flick he keeps it to a minimum but he still hams up most scenes. 

If you're reading this you should know I'm a big Joe fan which is grounded in the fact that I have all the comics dating back over 20 years. Here's a sample of my custom bound hard cover collections.

I even use to buddy up with Slumpy president Ben to create battle scenes with our action figures. Hoo Rah. 

Action figure set-ups!

With that in mind, this film was always going to be a tough sell and after hating the first installment on it's release, but then warming to it on re-watches, I was cautious about this one. I'm sad to say it's actually a bit worse than the 2009 flick. The action is even more over the top, the fight scenes are shot so fast with that super-choppy style of editing that I couldn't tell what was happening, the sub plot with Snakes and Stormy is hard to follow (if you're not a fan with knowledge of their history) and features a very bizarre cameo by RZA and the script is pretty woeful. In short, the film is firmly aimed at the pre teen crowd who will no doubt lap it up. 

Would you watch it again? I would but only because I'm a fan of the source material and I'm hoping it will grow on me. 

'Aren't you a little short for a storm...Snake Eyes?'

Rating (out of 100%): There's bound to be a sequel but for now I give this latest G.I. Joe a, 'Here's hoping for some Dreadnok action in the next one' 50%