The Rum Diary (2011)

In 7 words or less: Fear and Loathing: The early years

What's it all About? The film is a pretty thinly veiled biopic of the time Hunter S Thompson spent in Peurto Rico in the late 1950's, as he struggled to find his own voice as a writer, the voice that would become famous in the pieces like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas/On the Campaign trail etc etc. It's also clearly a bit of a love letter from Johnny Depp to Thomson, and I think even the book was published because Johnny Depp convinced him to.

Best bits? The mood is awesome - Puerto Rico in the 1950's seems so fun, with amazing threads, and the outside rum bar made me excited. Also, in a pretty big detour from the book, they make the end a bit more decisive, as he "discovers" his journalistic voice and realises where he want his career to go - that really got me punching the air as he sets out his life's mission statement. Take that "The man!"

Did it make you think thoughts? Is it possible to watch this film without thinking about Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas?! There are real "Fear and Loathing..." moments in this, as they experiment with Acid for the first time, and have crazy hijinks with a car etc etc... These really weren't as funny as they could have been - after watching "Fear and Loathing...", these bits seem a bit flat in comedy/excitement, and when he's driving round in Puerto Rico swigging gin, I actually just feel he's more of a sad alcoholic than the angry journo that sees taking insane kinds of drugs as a real political position against the dry American establishment. I've tried to avoid comparing it with the book too much, as the book is really great, a bit less "exciting things happening", a much more moody, but I know that doesnt work soo well in films, although I reckon it could have worked! Bruce Robinson said he threw the book out straight away after reading it twice so he could write his own good film. I appreciate that approach, but I think it could have been a bit more menacing, sweaty and tense.

Would you watch it again? Umm, yeah, I think so. It wasn't as funny as I'd like it to be, but I really liked the setting/time and it made me excited to see the beginning of Hunter S Thompson's voice.

Rating (out of 100%): I hope I don't drink rum thats as strong as 67%! (Eh?)

Transformers: The Movie (1986)

The Chief returns to his 'Top 5 non-cgi animated movies of all time' list with the number 2 entry. This was a really, really tough choice and at one point this film was sitting atop the number 1 spot before it settled here at number 2

In 7 words or less: Giant battle bots change into stuff

What's it all About? The transformers are a race of sentient robots that transform, strangely enough, into various things such as cars, tanks and dinosaurs (go Grimlock!). The heroic Autobots battle the evil Decepticons not just on their home planet of Cybertron but also on Earth. This time however a new threat has emerged that could spell doom for all transformer life.....Unicron!

Best bits? Obviously the Optimus Prime v Megatron duel and the ending where Hot Rod is confronted with his destiny are both goose bump giving moments. The voice acting is perfect. I'm talking spot on perfect.

Did it make you think thoughts? If you don't like this movie you must be dead...or a girl. This is what the 80's was all about. Here was a franchise that had amazing toys, a great tv show and then ultimately an in-your-face, hulking-robot, smash-downfest of goodness. It can be daunting if you don't have any transformers knowledge but that doesn't detract in any way from being able to enjoy it as a stand alone piece of popcorn entertainment. The animation is pretty good for the time and still holds up well.

Amidst all the action and transforming there is a cracking story that made me contemplate how this film is full of real world examples of hardship, heartache and triumph. We witness Megatron's path as he rises to attain leadership of the decepticons (off screen), challenge Optimus to battle only to fall himself and be cast away by the upstart Starscream. This highlights the fragility of leadership and the perils of being 'the top man (or robot)' as others seek to usurp and discredit those in positions of power. There is also redemption, if short lived, as a bruised and battered Megatron is rejuvenated and, ironically, transformed into the seemingly all-powerful Galvatron. This is surely an illustration that everyone can and should be given a second chance in life. Does Galvatron use this second chance wisely? Do the wronged always seek revenge? If you've seen this you'll know the answer. The story also highlights that although rebirths are possible it is almost always at the behest of others and Galvatron exemplifies this by being caught in a symbiotic needs-must relationship with his saviour and in doing so becomes a tragic parody of his former self. Life lessons we can all learn from I think you'll agree.

Elsewhere the subject of religion rears it's head in the form and mysticism of 'the creation matrix' a life giving other worldly force that is worshipped by the autobots. Their faith is tested when Ultramagnus asks the matrix to, 'Light our darkest hour', but slumps into a funk when his prayers fall on deaf ears. Ultimately though, we learn that the power of the unknown (matrix) is the greatest force in the universe and we are led to believe that destiny is unavoidable.

More real world scenarios are present in the form of a back water planet that has a corrupt judicial system (according to our own standards of what is right and wrong) and a ruling class that dominates the proletariat. We are also told that through violent insurgency and the opposing of though in power, the breakdown of society is ever possible.
Would you watch it again? You're crazy right? I might even watch it again tonight

Rating (out of 100%): Forget about the recent Michael Bay travesties, this here is the real McCoy. I give Transformers: The Movie a more than meets the eye 94%

The Help (2011)

In 7 words or less: Strong characters + history + storytelling = tears....Lots.

What's it all About? The American Civil rights movement. Back in the day (well, actually only 50 years ago - WTF?!) black women worked as maids to raise the white children of selfish, vile white women who were too busy smoking, having sex and bitching to raise them themselves. These children who they loved and nurtured through childhood then grew up and most turned out exactly like their bourgeoisie parents failing to break the cycle. That is until Emma Stone comes along and decides to publish their stories and give a voice to 'the help'. A story of 'sticking it to the man' unravels as they bravely take on civil rights and push to make a change.





Best bits? If you don't get satisfaction out of the bit when one of the maids serves up a chocolate pie made with her own 'shit' to her evil, nazi, boss then you need to see an emotions doctor asap.

There was also the bit where they were really struggling to convince more maids to share their story and then after a night of racist attacks Skeeter turns up and they're all there in the kitchen ready to share their narratives. From that point on I was pretty much a blubbering wreck. I haven't cried that much since we lost Jack to the ice water in Titanic....come back! Jack! Come back!

I've also got to give a mention to costuming. I think with any vintage-esque film, costuming and styling makes it for me. Although the white women were vile creatures, by god they were rocking some awesome frocks. Sheesh, yes please!

Did it make you think thoughts? I seriously cannot believe how recently this was all happening. It's quite incredible how far we've come as a society so quickly, and somewhat frightening at what we used to be. I can't imagine what it felt like to be treated like that, it was really sad and also frustrating to watch it unfold. Their thinking back then was SO fucked - for example they ran a charity ball to raise money for Africa but refused to let any black staff use the toilets in the house. Give me strength.

Apparently the book is much harsher and doesn't rely on any injections of humour to break the mood. There was definitely a bit of that going on. It was kind of like every time they thought 'oh crap we're really going down the serious race road' they broke the tension with what were at times, a bit of a cheap laugh. I was ok with some of the funny scenes, and I think they added to the charm of some of the characters, but I can see how that would be annoying to the book loyalists.

Would you watch it again? Yes. I really did think it was a great piece of film. Interesting, uplifting but also an eyeopener. I also love Emma Stone, the girl is flavour of the month for me. She's cool, smart, funny and doesn't act like she's going to steal everyone's husband.

Rating (out of 100%): I'm giving it an Obama-tastic 90%. Right on sisters. Peace out.

Road To Perdition (2002)

In 7 words or less: Nasty things happen to Tom Hanks.

What's it all About? The film takes place in America during the Great Depression. Mike Sullivan (Tom Hanks) is a 'take out the trash' kind of guy for local Illinois crime lord John Rooney (Paul Newman). After Sullivan's 12 year old son witnesses daddy doing some tommy gun massacring with Rooney's (slightly off the rails) son, things all get a bit nasty. Sullivan's family is left in tatters so he hits the road with his son, I can't remember where the road goes… Oh yeah, Perdition.

Best bits? Hands down, the best bit of this film is the breathtaking cinematography. Sam Mendes is such a beautiful director, there's no whizz bangs or thrills about his work, it's just sheer art, every single shot has clearly had so much care and effort poured into it. When you combine these glorious images with Thomas Newman's mesmerising score you come pretty close to perfection.

I'm a massive fan of Paul Newman so any scene including him is a highlight. Jude Law as the freakish corpse photographer/hit man is a great character, I would have liked to have seen more of him but I guess he's not really integral to the main story.

Did it make you think thoughts? I think you can get fooled (myself included) into thinking this is an epic crime saga about gangsters in The Great Depression, Chicago, Al Copone, tommy guns, a 3 hour running time, It's none of those things. I always forget this is an insular story involving a father and his son on a journey, a journey where they ultimately find out who one another are. I have to say, every time it hints at the bigger picture, like when they briefly go to Chicago, I want the story to open up, to get bigger in scope and so on. I think for the most part it's just my selfish side wanting to see what Mendes could do with a crime epic but never the less the story remains on track and in my opinion get's wrapped up a little too quickly. For the most part this is such a beautifully paced picture but their time on the road gets too montage(y) and becomes a little rushed towards the end of the movie.

But please don't be fooled or put off by my silly whining, this is still an absolute class act with a great central performance from Tom 'the easiest man to watch on screen' Hanks.

Would you watch it again? Absolutely. Mendes' films are like staring at great works of art.

Rating (out of 100%): 84% Visually insane and a definite treat on the senses, just a few wobbles on the 'Road To Perdition' stopping this from being an utter classic.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)

In 7 words or less: One (hundred) tokes over the line.

Best bits? Seriously? The whole god damn film baby! If I have to pick specific highlights I'll take the ether binge featuring a spaghetti legged Raoul Duke attempting to get through the turnstiles of a local casino fairground and the opening scene where they pick up an unsuspecting hitchhiker - 'I'm just admiring the shape of your skull'. Genius

Did it make you think thoughts? Most definitely. For those who don't know, the story revolves around journalist Raoul Duke (Depp) who is sent to Las Vegas to cover an off-road motorbike race and a police narcotics convention. Adding to the unrelenting debauchery that follows is his companion Dr Gonzo (Del Toro). The fact that this is essentially an auto-biographical account of Hunter S. Thompson's journalistic adventures leaves me contemplating my sheltered existence. What we have here is a pure slice of 1970's drug fuelled Americana as our protagonists go off assignment in search of the American dream. Within one minute of the play button having been pushed I was already chortling to myself and by the end I felt as if I had accompanied our hosts on their Vegas hopping drug binge. The combination of director Gilliam and writer Thompson makes for a truly intoxicating movie. This is style, substance, crazy characters, drama, skewed perspectives and life-living all rolled into one. Before I give myself a sore throat from waxing lyrically about this masterpiece I will say this...it's not for everyone. If my girlfriend watched it you'd probably hear her utter lines such as, 'I don't understand', 'This is weird', 'It's rubbish'. Stick in some teen angst, vampires and unrequited love and she'd be well away. However, watching two drug hounds roll around in their own filth while doing copious amounts of mescaline, acid and cocaine, not so much. The film definitely benefits from repeated views and is even better if you've read the book.

This film makes me angry when I think that Depp and Del Toro were both passed over for academy awards. These are arguably career best performances and should have been recognised so. To close, the eagle eyed of you will have noticed the tagline on the Slump homepage that says we're 'chock full of grit', a line taken directly from this ace movie.

Would you watch it again? Absolutely. I'm sure this film gets better every time I watch it

Rating (out of 100%): This is quite a divisive picture but at Castle Chief we love it. I give Fear and Loathing a sky high 92%

Panic Button (2011)

In 7 words or less: Hollyoaks in (Aero) Space

Best bits? Some internet weirdos win an online competition from a social networking site. They've won a trip to new york, they're over the moon... But they forgot to delete their browsing history.

This starts off quite fun, the cast of four are all merrily enjoying a drink on a private jet courtesy of All2gether.com. When their host, a computer generated crocodile (along the lines of 'Sam' from 'Moon' but rubbish) starts getting all uppity about their past on the internet.

Apparently they like watching all sorts of internet blueys; and this Croc's had enough of them emailing that monkey playing with it's balls to their address books on a Friday.

So, after Ali' gets all narc'y he starts giving each of the passengers naughty missions, big brother style, which won't make them any friends at all. If they fail to obey his every whim, he randomly selects someone from their all2gether.com friend list and does away with them in a skanky manor.

Aligator has Gwen listen to her favourite song.

Did it make you think thoughts? The film has been wrongly classified as an 18, I believe. It's not realistic enough for people to be affected by any of the gore or threat. I'm not really sure what went on here. My theory is that the classification board didn't make it through the whole film, as the build up leads you to think you think you're going to see some terrible things. Luckily, the only terrible thing here is the idea.

I was also convinced that the loutish arse character was a relative of Rupert Grint.

Would you watch it again? Not for all the private jets in the world. I'd be interested to see what this film maker does next, however. It looks good for it's meagre budget, and it could have been better with a tighter story.

Max didn't want ANY more cups of tea.

Rating (out of 100%): 41% The whole way through, I was asking myself why on earth was I watching it. It turned out not to be so bad. With a couple of good twists and a real stinky one, it's probably worth a watch compared to a lot of new horror.