The King's Speech (2010)

In 7 words or less: K-k-k-king c-c-c-an't speak. And. Needs t-t-to.

What's it all About? George VI (Colin Firth) is thrown onto the throne after an early death from his father and his fruity brothers renouncement of the throne (he was carrying on with his squeeze so couldn't do it). Bertie, as he is know by family, is probably the best example of someone who should not undertake a public speaking position. And yet, he finds himself on the throne and immediately at war with Germany. He must address the nation and become 'the voice' of confidence to guide them all through scary times. Only one problem; he just can't get those words out. What with invention of radio n'all that, it\s more than a personal embarrassment but a serious problemo. The queen mum aka Bertie's wife (Helena Bonham Carter) persuades him to see a loopy aussie speech therapist who drills into his emotional psyche and gets right to the bottom of that stammer. A lovely friendship unravels and the film climaxes when they both cram themselves into a recording box and Lionel (Geoffrey Rush) 'conducts' the king who delivers an all singing, all dancing stammer free 'we're going to war with germany, but we're all going to be ok if we stick together' speech and reconnects with the good old general public. Phew.

Best bits? The casting is faultless in this one. Firth captures the frustration of the King perfectly demonstrating sensitivity, anger and determination all within a breath. I really enjoyed the scenes in Lionel's 'treatment room' - there's something about the massive open space and the way they shot him against the faded walls that looked beautiful as well pointing out his vulnerability. I also loved the little awkward 'british royal' moments played to perfect by HBC - 'it's mam like jam not mam like palm'....oo er.

The final scene where he does the speech is just brilliant. It's tough not to hold your breath and the relief afterwards feels like you're sighing with the whole nation (which they probably did actually, but more so because they had to go war. Again).

Did it make you think thoughts? Throughout the whole thing I could hear myself thinking 'oo that's a nice shot' - everything looked like a photograph. The walking through the (what I assume was) Regent's Park bit with the mist was just delicious, I could have gobbled that bit right up.

I also thought a lot about the queen mum, you see her as this doddery old woman but HBC played her as a sassy mam who knew how to rock a frock or two. I thought - ah I bet she had a nice time when she was younger.

Would you watch it again? Oh yes, it's a twice yearly watch I'd say. A great portal back in time with an inevitable ability to pluck at a few heartstrings. Well deserved oscars all round for this one.

Rating (out of 100%): A stammeringly good watch. 95% my highest slump ever!

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011)

In 7 words or less: Potter collects horcruxes then it all ends. 

What's it all About? It's Harry Potter. By this point, the 8th film, if you're not sold on the concept then you really shouldn't be anywhere near this. It's the final chapter, Harry and the gang attempt to round up (and destroy) the remaining horcruxes and rid the wizarding world of 'he who must not be named' once and for all.

Best bits? The Gringotts (wizarding bank) infiltration scene is pretty exciting. I always loved that set from The Philosophers Stone so it's cool to see it again and this time we get to go down into the vaults which is awesome. I love the fact that Gringotts is run by really miserable goblins that constantly sneer and stare at anyone who has the misfortune of entering their precious bank.

I'm not really one for big (end of saga) finale battles but in between the spells and incantations are some great little scenes. Professor Snape's story is well handled and his concluding scenes are some of the best in the film. Harry's (weird heaven type place) meeting with Dumbledore at Kings Cross Station is quite interesting, Voldermort as that withering baby thing is really weird.

By this point (film 8) the cinematography and special effects are awesome. The level of care and detail transferred from page to screen is pretty nuts.

Did it make you think thoughts? Definitely not my favourite Harry Potter film and not as good as Deathly Hallows: Part 1, but that's not really the films fault, more the stories. The final chapter in any franchise is always a tricky one to pull off, partly because people simply hate having something they love and obsess about ultimately end.

I'm a huge Harry Potter fan and can categorically say that Radcliffe's acting (or attempts at acting) haven't really been a big problem for me, especially not in these latter films. Harry is kind of an annoying character and Radcliffe is probably quite annoying too, perfect bloody match. Overriding all of that I'm just a massive fan of the Potter universe. I think when you love something so much you look past many of its faults that maybe the average punter would tear their hair out over! But why in gods name is anyone that doesn't like this sort of thing watching Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2?!?!

The final chapter of the book where they skip forward 19 years is fine on the page but in the film is darn right ridiculous. It's simply awful, looks like they're playing dress up in their parents clothes! I can't believe they didn't just use different actors or at least cgi their faces to age them. It stops dead any emotion you may have been feeling and just makes you laugh as the credits roll.

My god! Horrific scenes.

Would you watch it again? Oh, of course I would. Can't wait to watch them all with my little boy. 

Rating (out of 100%): 79% After part 1 got most of the story out of the way there isn't really much left for this one to do apart from the inevitable 'big scrap'. Still a great ride and if you're a Potter fan you'll be spellbound till the end!

Boogie Nights (1997)

In 7 words or less: Eddie jacks in his job to jackoff

What's it all About? Young Eddie Adams (Wahlberg) cleans dishes in a night club but yearns for something more than his mundane non-eventful life. Enter adult film maker Jack Horner (Reynolds) who sees something special in Eddie, 13 inches of specialness to be precise, and offers him the chance to be a star. Cue a modern American classic.

Best bits? The banter that occurs when Eddie meets fellow co-star Reed (John C Riley) is comedy gold. They go from discussing how much weight they can bench press to talking about 'that new movie' Star Wars. Dirk, Eddies new porn name, attempting to cut a record and singing Touch by Stan Bush (made famous from Transformers: The Movie http://www.slumpfilmreviews.com/2011/11/transformers-movie-1986.html) is awesome as is the trailer for his new porn film, Brock Landers: Angels live in my Town. The beauty is that although everyone plays it straight, the subject matter, clothes, and scenarios make it almost a parody of itself. I'm not going to stop listing best bits because there are so many.

One 10 minute section near the end is a real attention grabber and shows the good, the bad and the ugly of the eclectic cast of characters as some of them start to come full circle. Soft bells chime thoughout the section as we witness three of our, now well known and loved, characters suffer highs and lows with dire consequences. It is an incredibly tense 10 minutes that is enthrallingly emotional.

Did it make you think thoughts? The film opens with two back to back 70's classics songs and it reaffirmed The Chief's love of disco. Hot damn I feel like bustin' some moves right now.

The whole 70's vibe is great and It made me think that this should truely be regarded as an epic tale much in the vein of Sergio Leone's Once upon in America. Ok, so it doesn't cover the same time span in that we don't see Eddie/Dirk as a child all the way though to the end of his life but we do get a 10 year snapshot of his meteoric rise to stardom and his subsequent fall.

The crown jewel in all this is the central performance of Mark Wahlberg as the iponimous Dirk Diggler. Wahlberg is often thought of as a tough guy wooden kind of Stallone clone and maybe that is true in some of his performances but here we have without question the best performance of his career. Following Dirk as he goes form dish washer to porn phenom, drug addict, down and out and then back to where he belongs is skillfully handled by Wahlberg and he really gets a chance to let loose with the character. He portrays a tangible child like innocence, and almost a touch of campness, before going off the rails as he envisions himslef being bigger and better and more deserving than those around him.

The film actually contains a plethora of top notch performances with John C Riley, Don Cheadle, Burt Reynolds, Julianne Moore, Heather Graham, Alfred Molina, Philip Semour Hoffman and William H Macy all knocking it out of the park, no pun intended. Wow, just look at that cast list. Surely a bag full of Academy awards followed. Well they would have done if not for the usurping dirge that was Titanic.

The only negative I can level at the film is the fact that it clocks in at a little over 2hrs 30 mins. In todays modern popcorn get-in get-out (again no pun intended) viewing audiences this may be just too long but anyone who knows the worth of telling a good story and telling it well will appreciate that all of those 150 minutes are needed. Director PT Anderson showcases all his skills and weaves a tight script with long panning Scorcese-like shots all the while forcing the story along with strong characters who build key relationships. The thing that makes the viewer eager to watch and inquisitive about how it will all end is due to the fact that the film is just so god damn engaging. It literally grabs you by the nutsack like some rabid bulldog and won't let go until the end credits roll. As an aside, whether or not we need to see Dirk's 13 inch python at the end is debatable, although you do get to see what all the fuss has been about.

Would you watch it again? Yes, yes I will.

Rating (out of 100%): When I saw this at the cinema in 1997, the people around me stood up at the end and exclaimed that they thought it was rubbish and didn't get it. Morons, the lot of them. If you don't like this film, you don't like cinema.....fact. I give Boogie Nights a rumpy pumpy 93%

Heist (2001)

In 7 words or less: Mamet by numbers. Twists, turns, deceit, theft.

What's it all About? Gene Hackman wants to retire from the criminal game but before he can do that he must do one more heist for his business partner and fence Danny DeVito. To complicate matters, DeVito's nephew (Sam Rockwell)is sent along to make sure the heist goes as planned.

Best bits? This is typical Mamet in that the script is super tight and laced with snappy dialogue. Some might say it's Tarantinoesque but in reality I think its the other way round and Tarantino is Mametesque. There's a great bit where Jimmy (Rockwell) asks Pinky (Ricky Jay)if Joe (Hackman) can handle the police and Pinky replies, 'My motherf**ker is so cool, when he goes to bed, sheep count him.'

Did it make you think thoughts? It made me think that Gene Hackman still had it, Danny DeVito is great as a shouty sweary bad guy, Sam Rockwell is just all round amazing and that Delroy Lindo should have had a much bigger career than he has had.

Would you watch it again? Yep.

Rating (out of 100%): If you like David Mamet films you'll like this. then again, if you like David Mamet films you've probably seen it already. I give this a brain twisting 84%

Warrior (2011)

In 7 words or less: Rocky in a cage.

What's it all About? Minor spoilers follow. A big time entrepreneur brings his mixed martial arts organisation to Atlantic City and puts on a tournament to find the best middleweight on the planet. As with all these types of films, the best from around the world enter the cage but the real focus here is on brothers Tommy and Brendan. One a former marine and one a school teacher, do they have the stuff to enter the cage and walk away with the £5 mil prize money? I'm not going to spoil it that much, come on, give me some credit. Oh yeah, Nick Nolte plays the recovering alcoholic father.

Best bits? The acting from the three leads is top stuff. No trailers or any video footage as I don't want to give away too many spoilers.

Did it make you think thoughts? Great, great casting. The three leads are all perfect. After recently having seen Joel Edgerton (Brendan) in The Thing I thought, 'Oh no, not this chump again'. Egg on my face. He's great as the struggling family man who leads a double life as a back street mma fighter. His brother Tommy (Tom Hardy) is the brooding, tough nut with tons of emotional problems. Add in Nick Nolte as the dad who mumbles, grumbles and shouts his way through the film and you're left with a cracking relationship drama-addled firecracker of a flick. Even though we get a lot of build up it does feel in some parts that we need to guess what has gone on to lead these characters to act the way they do and sometimes it goes the opposite way and becomes overcrowded with back story (the marine thing in Iraq)

One of the things that stands out is the way the film has footage of a fight early on but then you have to wait over an hour until you get the main events. It's very Rocky-like in the way it builds up the characters so you have some emotional investment by the time the ass-kicking, knock-down, drag-out scraps assault the senses. Talking of the fights, as a massive mma fan, The Chief was fairly impressed with what he saw here. Obviously they're not 100% realistic, cutting out some the slower, stalling action that inevitably happens in real fights and the fighters don't seem to get as damaged as most of the fights I've seen but on the whole they are done really well.

The only major downside is the last 20 minutes which I had attempted to predict but had decided that as the film hadn't strayed into the standard over the top hollywood commercialised tripe for the first hour and 40 mins, it wouldn't do so now. Oh dear, I was disappointed. Also the training montage (I love training montages) is the pits. Whoever's idea it was to have the picture go 4 way split screen should be shot.

Would you watch it again? Yeah, it was a real surprise for me. I had heard good things but was sceptical and thought the 'yes' people were wrong. Glad I tried it.

Rating (out of 100%): This had definitely put me in the mood for a Rocky watch, maybe even a Rocky season (bbrrrr Rocky V). I give Warrior a spin kicking, palm slapping, rear naked choking 80%

The Inbetweeners movie (2011)

In 7 words or less: Foul-mouthed teens get what they deserve.

What's it all About? The gang of losers have finished their A-Levels and are determined to enjoy the hell out of the summer, so they book a holiday in Greece with Jay's dead grans inheritance.

Best bits? Neil dropping everything he's holding once his shift at Asda is done (6pm) and publicly heavy-petting his girlfriend behind the fish counter.

They've quite realistically rendered a 17 year olds lads holiday here. Depressing as it is funny. It makes me thank god that I'm not that age again.

Other fun moments include Some funny dancing, men getting slapped on the cock, self felatio, puking, pooing, swearing, dry humping, boobs, cocks, drinking and basic mischief.

Did it make you think thoughts? As with most TV turned movie projects, they attempt to up the shock factor of the gags, which are move visual than the TV series. But whilst it feels ruder the gag rate has also dropped, so it feels slower and I think a lot of people would take that to mean that this is weaker than the TV series. But it's a necessity in an extended episode to have a bigger story, otherwise, what's the point; they should just stick to the series.

There seem to be a few more cheap, obvious gags in this than you come to expect from the series too. I'm not sure what that is all about. It's a hell of a lot to ask to keep an entire film funny with this kind of toilet humour. Something that wouldn't work at all without Simon Bird's Will, pulling the whole thing together. Which without, this would start to take on a Kevin and Perry tinge.

Would you watch it again? Yeah! I could go for another view. There are plenty of laughs here.

Rating (out of 100%): 68% As funny as it could have been. Not as sharp as the series.