Hugo (2011)

In 7 words or less: Orphaned Boy Fixes Robot Which Fixes Man.

What's it all About? Hugo loved fixing things with his Father. Now an Orphan living in the the walls of a railway station in Paris keeping the clocks running on time so that no one discovers he's there, Hugo steals parts to complete the automaton which he and his Father were building before he died. All the while hiding from the watchful eye of the Station Guard (Sacha Baron Cohen).

Best bits? All the stuff that doesn't play out in the trailer about Georges Méliès and his life as one of the first film makers. It's absolutely gorgeous. It mirrors his life in quite a bit of detail including a recreation of his glasshouse studio.

Sacha Baron Cohen's Station Guard is dubious at first, but there is a lot of depth to his character by the end and he adds a nice comic edge throughout. You'll like him by the end despite his cockney accent. Chloë Moretz is great also as the Grandaughter (?) of Méliès. She plays it like a good Hermione Granger. There is also a richness in the other character of the train station. There's a lot of comfort in revisiting these people each day the film goes by. In a Hey! Arnold! kind of way.

There are so many good things about this, from the design of the behind/above/below the station sets. The mystery of the Automaton. The flashbacks to Méliès creating his films and the heartwarming ending to name a few. So be prepared to have some tissues at the ready at the end. Sadly I didn't see this in 3D, the dark glasses would really help.

Did it make you think thoughts? It's a proper kids film! Incredible! It doesn't rely on CG or mind numbing, well, anything. It's a sweet, story told to the already incredible life of Méliès from the perspective of a child. I'll be sad is Scorsese stops making family films after this.

Would you watch it again? I could probably watch this on any Sunday afternoon. I'll give this multiple views and the Blu Ray will sit proudly in my collection. 

Rating (out of 100%): 90% A family film with only good intent with the sensibilities of classic cinema.

Retreat (2011)

In 7 words or less: Three are housebound due to possible outbreak.

Spooky

What's it all About? After facing a personal tragedy a young couple's relationship is on the rocks. What could be better than going back to the tiny island cottage where they first "conjured the magic" to try to rekindle their love? Things start badly. It's awkward. The love's gone... Then Jamie Bell turns up as a nutter Marine with a stories of a worldwide airborne virus outbreak which is headed their way. Better start boarding up the windows... But is the Bellster telling the truth, or a pack of naughty lies?

Nice Aged Sign

Best bits? The film starts well, it looks great, the acting is great and it makes for a great tense vibe. It's quite exciting when they first discover the unconscious Bell, bring him back to the cottage and are deciding what to do with him. Bell's performance is really good here. He is totally believable as a Marine. However, his stories to start to become a bit comedic later on. Mainly the scene when Bell wakes up Murphy from a nice dream to defend the house against unseen attackers.

"Tin Tin, NO!"

Did it make you think thoughts? It left me feeling disappointed overall. It feels like the writers forgot that people like to enjoy films. There's very little to enjoy in this. It just ends up going the way of so many of this type of films. I can't really go into here as it would spoil the story If you are thinking of watching. Story and ending aside, the direction is great and I'd definitely watch what this guy makes in the future.

Stinky Poos

Would you watch it again? I don't think so. And that's saying something. I love a good fake / real outbreak. The ending might be enjoyed by a tougher audience though, but to me it feels like a bit of a cop-out.

Cheer Up! You're going on Holiday!

Rating (out of 100%): 55% Watch it for the performances. Just don't come crying to me when you don't have a great time.

Stunning Vistas

Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists! (2012)

In 7 words or less: Pirates, more pirates, scientists and queen Vic

What's it all About? The Pirate Captain has one quest in life. To become the Pirate of the year at the annual pirate awards night. To do so he needs to amass a boat load of booty. This year he has the help of a much prized scientific discovery......the last surviving dodo. Unfortunately he has to contend with a jealous Charles Darwin and a pirate hating Queen Victoria.

Pirate with Gout, Albino Pirate, Pirate Captain, Number Two,  Surprisingly Curvaceous Pirate

Best bits? The other candidates for pirate of the year have fantastic entrances that are full of spectacle and grandeur. Black Bellamy's is particularly memorable. The scene in Charles Darwin's house where Bobo the monkey butler attempts to steal Polly the Parrot (dodo) is frantic, funny and loaded with balls-to-the wall crazy action.

Ham night!

Did it make you think thoughts? The first 5 mins or so made me question my decision to see this. The animation seemed overly jerky, the sound levels were inconsistent and the characters uninspiring. After the shaky start however, we are treated to a great romp that adults will enjoy as much as the kiddies.  Hugh Grant is surprisingly good in the lead role and has the best lines, two such being, 'We talked about pigs being classed as a fruit' and 'In a street fight, a shark would beat a dracula.' Alongside Hugh, the voice cast is ace with Brendan Gleeson, Salma Hayek, Brian Blessed and Imelda Staunton all providing top notch performances. 

The Pirate King, B Blessed of course

The soundtrack is good and any film that has a Flight of the Conchords tune in it is surely onto a winner (see The Muppets). Adding in a monkey to a film (or anything for that matter) is never a bad thing and Bobo, Darwin's experimental simian, is a hoot throughout. 

Clever, Monkey

Would you watch it again? There are enough jokes and background stuff going on for me to give this another go for such. 

Rating (out of 100%): Avast me hearties and walk the plank. Forget about the latest super smooth computer generated animation lovefest and be transported back to an age of meticulous stop motion animation. The lack of character depth is a problem but then again this is primarily a film for the youngsters. Not quite as good as everyone else has been suggesting, this is still most definitely worth your time. I give Pirates! a shiver me timbering 82%

The Sentinel (2006)

In 7 words or less: Hero accused of presidential assassination attempt....yawn

What's it all About? Long time presidential body guard Michael Douglas is framed for a crime he didn't commit. Kiefer Sutherland is the young punk trained by Dougie, who now has the task of hunting him down. Oh yeah, there's beef between them as the 60 yr old Mike, stole Kiefer's mrs. Ha ha, good one. Can Douglas find the real traitor and clear his name? 

Best bits? The last 15 minute show down is pretty good compared to the rest of the film and manages to ramp up the action.

Did it make you think thoughts? Wow, this is a real 80's style flick. Standard wrongly-accused-on-the-run-find-the-killer stuff here. Men in suits gruffly barking out orders, wearing sunnies and quietly speaking into lapel pinned microphones.

The main thought I had was that the two main characters are completely the wrong way round. The younger Sutherland should have been the one on the run with the wily vet Douglas, charged to take him down. Bad casting. Eva Longoria pops up as well and her character proves to be completely pointless.

Would you watch it again? Nah

Rating (out of 100%): Not a rubbish film, just a misguided one that isn't the intellectual actioner it thinks it is. I give The Sentinel a 'Man down' 40%

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (2012)

In 7 words or less: Old people go to India to die.

What's it all About? A batch of merry and not so merry old Brits retire to a hotel in India. Commence the unlearning of a lifetime of reading the Daily Mail. With added buffoonery from Dev Patel in full flailing arms mode.

Patel's death scene?

Best bits? There are actually quite a few. Maggie Smith's awfully bigoted character gets a lot of laughs with her unbelievably cruel and ignorant comments (don't worry, she learns a lesson). Dev Patel is very likeable as the owner of the Marigold Hotel and his optimism as its all falling apart around him is like a nice warm hug. Having a cast of such good ancient British actors really pays off here. It's also shot very well and the music is of high quality.

You can't argue with a plane shot like this.

Did it make you think thoughts? It didn't make me think many. And I think that's what the Mother's Day crowd want really. It's a well acted, sweet story with a couple of rough edges. The Stench's (Dame Judy Dench) voice over and narration is all a bit much for me. As they are pretty old just to be learning these life lessons now. It makes me want to visit India a lot. I hope the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is still standing when I hit 65. But I hope all the lesson learning is done and everyone starts off nice.

Zombies are still 'outside trying to get in'; Penelope Wilson is still in Shaun of the Dead.

Would you watch it again? I could take this on again. Perhaps on a rainy Sunday on Blu-Ray. I would need some ice cream and tissues for the tears though. It really was more pleasurable a watch then I expected when I sat down in the Megaplex.

Things really get going during the 2nd Zombie Breach.

Rating (out of 100%): 79% A charming little film with a little too much sugar. But well worth your grey (or not grey) pound.

They don't stand a chance without at least, a bat.

The Butterfly Effect (2004)

In 7 words or less: Man transports himself into his younger self

What's it all About? Ashton Kutcher finds that he can travel into the past (never explained how) and occupy his younger self during times of stress but at the cost of changing history. Uh oh.



Best bits? Ashton Kutcher in, 'Wait a minute, this film doesn't massively suck' shocker, is a fairly big achievement.

Did it make you think thoughts? Some of the flashback/past scenes are fairly tense and add some meat to the bones of a fairly standard time travel affair. 

Would you watch it again? Probably not. Better time travel films to watch are, Back to the Future (all three), Terminator, Groundhog Day, It's a Wonderful Life and Planet of the Apes. 

Rating (out of 100%): It's not as poor as you might think. I give The Butterfly Effect a watchable 55%