Bad Day at Black Rock (1955)

In 7 words or less: Man on mission to find the truth

What's it all About? Spencer Tracy's mysterious stranger, Macreedy, has business in the desolate town of Black Rock. Unfortunately, the locals are an unfriendly lot who seem to be covering up some dark deed from times past.



Best bits? The scene at the petrol pump where Macreedy verbally spares with bad guy Smith is a pre-Tarantino script sensation. When Macreedy finally submits to the taunts of a local hoodlum we get a fantastic confrontation that sparkles and amazes in equal measure and elicits a booming YES! from the viewer. Well it did in me anyway.

You talkin' to me boy?

Did it make you think thoughts? The film sizzles with a cracking script and great characters. The bad guys are bad, the locals all have their faults and the stranger is mysterious. The film tackles the hot topic of racism in a period set following WWII and the fact that the hero doesn't flinch in the face of adversity mirrors the film's message of standing up for what is right.

Would you watch it again? Yes. Spencer Tracy is often overshadowed by the likes of Gable, Stewart, Cagney, Peck, Bogart and Grant among others. This is an injustice as he is a gem of an actor and deserving of a place among the greats.

Rating (out of 100%): Great performances across the board and a solid plot/story/script means I give Bad Day at Black Rock 83%

Sucker Punch (2011)

In 7 words or less: Guns, babes, swords and mental asylums

What's it all About? A young girl is institutionalised by her step-father after a horrible family accident. He bribes an orderly to forge papers and have her lobotomised so that he will inherit the family fortune. The girl, Babydoll, has five days before the operation and so hatches a plan to escape. It is here that the lines between reality and fantasy begin to blur.



Best bits? The second dance sequence involving a WWI steampunk setting where the girls storm the trenches of occupied France is heart pumping stuff. As is the bomb-carrying train scene. Kabloom!

Weren't these guys in Big Trouble in Little China?

Did it make you think thoughts? Sexy, scantily clad ladies running around shooting big guns and messing around with swords. How can this possibly fail? Well, it tanked at the box office and took a beating from the critics but hey, we all know those guys mainly suck. Right? 

Hello ladies

The trailer had me initially intrigued and the fact that director Zack Snyder (300, Watchmen) was attached to the project added to my interest. We get a nice opening set to music that sets the scene. From there, the lines of what is reality and what is imagined begin to blur until we get a wholly realised fantasy in which when Babydoll dances she transports herself and others into crazy action orientated smash down fests. 

Marry me? All of you?

I'm sure some will say that there is too much slo-mo, the action scenes are repetitive and Snyder borrows heavily from the effects he used in 300 but I really liked their balls out nature. Also some might criticise the plot as being a bit complicated and clumsy. Balderdash I say. It does get much clearer on repeated viewings but even the first time around, unless you're a complete doughnut, you'll be able to follow it. 



Would you watch it again? Definitely. This is very much a grower and I'm not just talking about the effect of the on-screen eye candy. Oi Oi!

Rating (out of 100%): I give the oddly named Sucker Punch an underrated 82%

Funny Games (2007)

In 7 words or less: Two preppy punks terroize townies

What's it all About? Two preppy punks terroize townies.

Best bits? I was going to say the end credits but even they are ruined by a god awful soundtrack.

Did it make you think thoughts? Man this film sucks. My main beef is that I like to be entertained and enjoy a movie while I'm watching it. This film failed to fulfill either criteria. 

Get out of my house

The film started off poorly with horrible scenes that are just a static camera with the action taking place out of shot and only the dialogue running. Bleh. Although the acting is ok, there are quiet a few plot devices that don't work and the moments when one of the boys turns to camera and breaks the fourth wall, telegraphs what is going to happen. Oh yeah, the ending is awful. Meh. 

Would you watch it again? Ha ha....No

Rating (out of 100%): Apparently the film is supposed to relate to the middle classes fascination with violence depicted in the media and how they are oblivious to the atrocities tat go on in the world. Huh? I got none of that from this movie. Fail. I give Funny Games an unfunny, unenjoyable 15%

Dorian Gray (2009)

In 7 words or less: Eternal youth? Not without pitfalls

What's it all About? After inheriting a house in London town, young Dorian Gray (Barnes) becomes the ward of the scheming, shady Lord Wotton (Firth). Gray almost instantly becomes a hedonistic little scoundral, sexing it up with whoever he so chooses. As time passes he seems o not age a single day and the secret lies in a mysterious painting hidden in the attic. ooooo.

Best bits? The film has a nice old-timey feel to it and the costumes and sets look authentic.

I wish I could grow a beard

Did it make you think thoughts? Yea, this was a bit of a wasted opportunity. The performances are good but nothing special happens and it drags along at a slow pace. The ageing thing is never really explained fully and that adds to the annoyance. It teases well and keeps you watching for the final reveal but I'm still not sure if it was satisfactory or not.

Would you watch it again? Probably not

Rating (out of 100%): Not a stinker but not an out and out winner. I give Dorian Gray a wickedly Victorian 60% 

Objective Burma! (1945)

In 7 words or less: Flynn trades bows and arrows for bullets

What's it all About? Basically, it's about a load of American troops parachuting into a Japanese occupied jungle in Burma. They are tasked with blowing up strategic locations then hopefully getting safely extracted.

Best bits? The Scene in the plane before the men jump is great. We get to know some of the guys and there's quite a bit of character development.



The final battle is a tense affair that will have you on the edge of your seat. Bullets fly, grenades explode and people die.

Did it make you think thoughts? Wow, this is a biggie. At nearly two and a half hours this is what you call an epic. It does, at times, fell like a history lesson rather than a movie and you need to be prepared to invest the time and effort to get the most from it due to there being a few lulls and quiet moments.
Flynn's accent isn't the greatest and occasionally you can hear an ozzie twang but he excels as the platoon leader and all his squad are given a chance to flesh out their characters.

Better than the rubbish Saving Private Ryan? Easily

Interestingly, the film was banned in Britain until 1952 as it was claimed the film minimised the effect of the British in Burma. Later, a prologue was added that recognised the British contribution to the campaign.

Would you watch it again? Slightly too long for The Chief but I'm sure I'll watch again.

Rating (out of 100%): A good old school epic that you need to be in the right mood for, 70%

Across the Wide Missouri (1951)

In 7 words or less: Gable trades the south for the west

What's it all About? Not much really. A trapper and some of his buddies go into the woods to.....trap I guess. He finds love along the way and runs afoul of a Blackfoot Indian Chief.

Best bits? The technicolour is amazing. Some might say it's oversaturated and the colours are to garish but I say they're vibrant and bring the film to life. The Scottish jig scene is a hoot!

You can keep your damn rosette

Did it make you think thoughts? Not really. Only that it's a bit of an oldball. Some singing and dancing, lots of native american non-subtitled dialogue, an understated Clark Gable and not much plot.

Would you watch it again? No. It's not a bad film but it's not held up well to the ravages of time.

Rating (out of 100%): I give Across the Wide Missouri a rootin', tootin' 35%