Gunfight at the O.K Corral (1957)

 In 7 words or less: Wyatt & Doc shoot 'em up

What's it all About? Marshall Wyatt Earp (Lancaster) and gambler/gunslinger Doc Holiday (Douglas) are worlds apart but end up in an unlikely alliance in this 'town based' western. 

Best bits? While some hoodlums shoot up the town, Doc is sitting rock steady playing cards and telling the dealer, who is shaking and cowering, to deal the cards and get on with the game. Ice cool playa. There is also a fantastic scene in the barber's shop.

Did it make you think thoughts? There are two cracking lead performances here. It's a stand-off between bravura egos as the pair swagger and stride around every scene. Lancaster was arguably the bigger star but for the Chief, it's Douglas who steals the show. His tortured gambler is strong, resolute and stoic but hides an inner turmoil that threatens to destroy him. 

It's also important to note that this was a big budget production and it shows. Sets are lushly constructed, colours vivid and the cast is all on top form. Even a young Dennis Hopper impresses as as a gunslinger who is conflicted by doing the right thing and standing tall with his cattle rustling family. Commercially the film did very well at the box office and sent the making of B westerns into decline.

Would you watch it again? Yeah, it's a great interpretation of the classic gunfight that is well worth yout time.

'No gambling here missy'

Rating (out of 100%): I really enjoyed this. It might be about 15 minutes too long but even then I give Gunfight at the O.K Corral a rootin' tootin' 82%

Better than: Wyatt Earp (1994)
As good as: Tombstone (1993)

Force 10 from Navarone (1978)

 

In 7 words or less: A poor man's Dirty Dozen

What's it all About? The Force 10 squad led by Harrison Ford is tasked with blowing up a bridge in Yugoslavia. Tagging onto this group is Robert Shaw and his buddy Edward Fox who have a separate mission to route out a traitor and eliminate him.

'We're gonna need a bigger gun'

Best bits? There is a great scene where a captured Force 10 execute a cracking bluff to convince their German hosts that they are deserters and not on a top secret mission to cripple the Nazi war effort.

Did it make you think thoughts? This is one of those 70's ensemble cast pieces that popped up a lot in that decade. Harrison Ford, Robert Shaw, Edward Fox, Carl Weathers, Barbara Bach and Richard Kiel are all on show. Weathers appears to still be playing Apollo Creed with his, angry, shouty 'you done me wrong' Sergeant Weaver, Kiel is in Bond-villain Jaws mode except now he has a sketchy Yugoslav accent, Fox is excellent as the stiff upper lipped straight man and explosives expert Miller and Ford and Shaw display great chemistry as they repeatedly clash and unsurprisingly then buddy-up.

'Cut yourself shaving?'

Would you watch it again? Probably not. There are too many other better war movies out there.

Rating (out of 100%): A solid if not spectacular war movie that stretches on a bit too long. I give Force 10 a young-Han-Solo-outing 50%

Worse than: The Guns of Navarone (1961)
Better than: Attack Force Z (1982)

Pearl Harbour (2001)

In 7 words or less: War movie with added love story

What's it all About? Set at the start of WWII, a couple of young hotshot pilots enlist in the airforce but things turn sour when Rafe (Alfleck) volunteers to go overseas and help fight in the Battle of Britain. When news reaches the States that Rafe has been shot down, the love of his life Evelyn (Beckinsale) falls into the arms of Rafe's best friend Danny (Hartnett). Oops. After the Japanese launch a sneak attack on the Hawaiian US naval base in Pearl Harbour, America  officially enters WWII.

Best bits? The dogfights are very well done with some great sequences of aerial combat.

Did it make you think thoughts? Yeah, never listen to the Mrs. I'd never seen this before as I had heard it was rubbish but my better half (cough, cough) convinced me it would make good Sunday evening viewing. The first hour is filled with so much cheese I felt like I had enough calcium to last a lifetime. Once the action kicks in, things pick up a bit but the whole Cuba Gooding Jr shtick fees like a tacked on way to show that African Americans played their part in the war effort. Unfortunately it comes across as clumsy and hamfisted. 

Run Affleck, run

Whilst watching it struck me how similar this was to The Dark Knight. Both films have a perfect end point, the Joker/Batman showdown, and here it is the bombing of Pearl Harbour. It's a shame then that both films add on a third act that overpowers the natural ending and thus is a big anticlimax. In this case it's the B-25 bombers flying to Tokyo on a reveng mission. It's all a bit heavy on the US war effort propaganda. 'You bombed our military base you dirty foreigners. We bombed your city full of civilians. We're heroes.' Ugh.

Luckily I had my laptop on showing some American football playoff action as well as a juicy rump steak accompanied by curly fries, onion rings and some buttered peas to soften the blow of this hamfest. Top draw. 

Would you watch it again? No

Rating (out of 100%): Too long, too much schmultz, too much bad acting and script. I give Pearl Harbour a don't-waste-your-time 30%
Worse than: Top Gun (1986)
Better than: Being in WWII

Dungeons & Dragons: Wrath of the Dragon God (2005)

In 7 words or less: Here we go again....Oh dear

What's it all About? The bad dude from the first film (no not Jeremy Irons, we're talking about his right hand man whose name escapes me) is back in a quest to take over the land. Booorrring.

Our plucky band of adventurers

Best bits? None. The effects are even worse than the first instalment. In fact this resembles a no-budget straight to dvd hamfest. I actually quite like the poster though.

Did it make you think thoughts? See this link: Dungeons & Dragons (2000) 

'Can you believe they paid me for this? The fools, ha ha ha'

Would you watch it again? No

Rating (out of 100%): This scores a couple of points based on the fact it has some comedy value. 6%

Dungeons & Dragons (2000)

In 7 words or less: Awesome fantasy dragon tale........erm...no.

What's it all About? An evil, vengeful sorcerer wants some kind of power rod that will help him control dragons and thus rule the land (maniacal laugh) Only some annoying teenage vagabonds an elf and a dwarf can save the day. Lord of the Rings this ain't. 

Best Worst bits? All of it.

Shouldn't this guy be in the Crystal Maze?

Did it make you think thoughts? There's an important question that need to be answered here. What the hell were you thinking when you decided to watch this Chief? Hhmm good question Chief. Why thank you Chief. I was under the impression that even though this was widely regarded as absolutely terrible, I would find some joy in it's fantasy sword and sorcery element. Oh dear, how wrong I was. Nothing like the fabulous cartoon or the long standing role playing game the only purpose this film served was to waste 107 minutes of my life. Oh yeah, what the hell is Jeremy Irons doing in this?

What do you mean this isn't the Tolkien book adaption

Would you watch it again? Ha ha, good one. 

Rating (out of 100%): Terrible direction, script, acting, choreography, effects, plot, lighting, sound direction, screenplay, cinematography and costumes. Worst film ever? Maybe. I give Dungeons & Dragons a Christmas ho, ho, horrible 3%

Avoid any movie with this clown in

Total Recall (2012)

In 7 words or less: Sci-fi Colin does sci-fi Arnie

What's it all About? Set in the future where there are scant few habitable locations, The United Federation of Britain is fighting constant battles with a resistance movement intent on bringing the corrupt corporation to it's knees. Enter Doug Quaid, a factory worker who unlocks hidden knowledge on a visit to memory implant centre.

Best bits? This film looks great. Very nice futuristic feel and some quality special effects. 

Did it make you think thoughts? Sure did. I expected to hate this. A tacky remake with the annoying Colin Farrell and no doubt rubbish special effects and plotting. To my surprise none of that was the case. It rattles along at a good pace with well choreographed fight scenes, a functional script and exciting action pieces.

This doesn't happen

Some might say it's pretty much a direct 'copy' of the original 1990 Arnie flick but that's not a bad thing. Yes, a lot of the scenes are the same and at first I was thinking, 'Man, this is just another one of those pointless remakes of ye olde classics' but after a while I got right into it. Good stuff.

This does

There's a nice bit of eye candy as well in the shapely forms of Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale which never hurts.

Women driver, look out!

Would you watch it again? Yeah I really liked it.

Rating (out of 100%): Miles better than Looper, this is definitely worth a watch. I give Total Recall a stuck-in-the-memory 75%