In 7 words or less: Another film that's 21 years too late.
What's it all About? Whilst transporting a new super weapon, two American soldiers (Duke and Ripcord) come under attack by a mysterious, technically advanced enemy. They are saved by an equally esoteric band of troopers called, G.I.JOE, an elite group of super soldiers hand picked from around the world. What takes place after this event is a globe trottin', futuristic fightin', ridiculous chase after some weird rocket that eats metal... "Say whaaaaat?!"
Best bits? Watching some young jocks in weird super suits running around Paris causing ludicrous amounts of collateral damage culminating in the Eiffel Tower falling over is enough to make anyone chuckle. The CG in this scene is so spectacularly bad that it might border on unintentional genius.
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| Bugger, the CG looks really good here. |
In places it almost catches a retro feel. The over the top 'set in the not too distant future' type of action works well and sets a good comic book feel from the get go; there's no way you could be confused about what sort of film you're watching: a completely cuckoo bananas one!
Did it make you think thoughts? Yeah, I don't want a G.I.JOE film now, I wanted it 21 years ago. Such a bizarre time to finally bring a live action version of this out, part of the 'let's remake old things because people love retro stuff' brigade no doubt.
It was annoying recognising all the names that I used to love but no one actually looking anything like the characters they're based on; just a bunch of guys in cammo with action figure names! If you want it to look retro make everyone look exactly like their comic book counterparts. Snake Eyes, he was the only one, he looked wicked!
This film isn't made for me, like the new Transformers movie, these new workings of my childhood favourites are for a new, E.T hating, action thirsty, 'I want it now' yuppy lava generation that haven't got time for the delicate nuances of 80s awesomeness! I bet they bloody love this film!
Would you watch it again? I may do. It grew on me when I let go of all the anger.
Rating (out of 100%): 55% I enjoyed this more than I thought I would. Certainly wasn't a complete disaster although it gives it a bloody good go. Switch your brain box off for this one guys!
