In 7 words or less: Big ship sinks. In 3D.
What's it all About? Jack Dawson (Leo DiCap) wins a ticket aboard the Titanic in a "lucky game of poker". Off he goes to America waving to the unknown crowds who've gathered at Southampton docks to watch a ship leave (I'd stick with a lie in myself silly people in the old days). He gets right on that boat and quickly falls in love with Rose (Kate Winslet), fiancee to a rich tycoon and damn right jerk off (Billy Zane). Jack meets Rose when she was trying to top herself off the back of the boat. Jack saves her and they don't look back (well except when they find themselves back on that bit of the boat later). They have fun on that ship what with all the fresh paint, china and brandy knocking about and even enjoy a steamy romp in a car, ooo those naughty lovers. Yep it's all fun and games and they look set for a radiant future together until that silly old ship hits an iceberg. Crash, scrape..."smell ice can 'ya? Jesus!"
If you haven't worked it out by now you may have some issues, but just to clarify, this film tells the dramatic and shocking horror tale of the sinking of the most famous of all the ships: The Titanic. Focussing on the 'real stories' of the people on the Titanic it plumps for the romance, star crossed lovers angle to highlight how bloody tragic the whole thing was. I'm not sure any kind of romance like this really took place on the ship but I like to think this is what happened when you got on a ship in the old days (minus the sinking bit preferably).
Best bits? The best thing about this film is how it's ageing. Winslet looks like she could be Dicap's mum and there's some questionable CG. At times it's hard to tell if you're watching the film or playing 'Titanic for the DS'. Rather than this being an issue I throughly enjoyed the trip back to the 90's and the shameless epic cheesiness and drama, it's just great. The 3D was actually amazing too, it made it look completely petrifying - lots of peeping over the edge type shots that make you feel all nauseous.
My favourite bits of Titanic are the bits when it's sinking and it shows the mum reading her kids a story in bed, the couple cuddling on the bed etc with the eerie music playing and the hopelessness of it all comes crashing down on you like a wave of popcorn you can't eat quick enough. Actually, I hate this bit in the film, it's so sad and makes me weep like a wailing banshee, but it's powerful.
Did it make you think thoughts? Many many thoughts, mostly which consisted of "god that really happened, it was horrific....why didn't they go back....why didn't they have more boats...christ that ship is big etc etc" No matter how you package up the story of Titanic it's hard not for you to think any thoughts, but I think the brash portrayal of the class system and the colourful tale of love make you think even more thoughts. No it's not a film you need to work out the narrative, it doesn't start in the middle and end at the beginning, it's not silent, it's not an art house, it's a giant shameless money making epic but still you do think many thoughts and I salute it.
Would you watch it again? Oh yes. It's an annual viewing for me. An eye rolling classic that's tough to say no to. A bit like a bag of sour snakes. Delicious.
Rating (out of 100%): I'm giving The Titanic a 100 year anniversary 80%..."come back, the boats are here, Jack! The boats! Come back! I'll never let go...."
