V/H/S (2012)

In 7 words or less: Blair Witch for the animated .gif generation.

What's it all About? Anthology Horror from many of horror's rising directors. Loosely and somewhat confusingly spun together in a story that leaves you begging for them to put in the next tape. Here's a bit about each tape:

Tape 56 (Directed by Adam Wingard) is the storyline which is the basis for seeing the other stories sees a bunch of total jerks who should rightly be in prison on a mission to collect a particular video tape from an address in order to make some cash. They find some creepy stuff in the house, along with a large collection of VHS tapes and an old, fat, dead man.

Finding a dead, fat man that watched this many TV's can't be good.

Amateur Night (Directed by David Bruckner) Is the story of a bunch of total jerks who strap on a pair of glasses containing a hidden camera, in order to pick up girls in a bar and film their dirty love making back in their hotel room. The have issues however when one of the girls they pick up may not be entirely human... A pretty good effort here and the Jerks in question get their comeuppance.

"This is.... Sexy?!"

Second Honeymoon (Directed by Ti West) was the storyline I was looking out for having recently enjoyed his other efforts, but it fell flat for me. With nothing supernatural going on, it feels out of place with the rest of the work here. Plus it gets a bit stabby for my liking, which is a totally rancid scene. Some might argue, that's what horror's about though.

There's a nice Big reference here...

Tuesday the 17th (Directed by Glenn McQuaid) may be the highlight here. Featuring a totally inspired monster which we see as a glitch in the video. It looks awesome and is genuinely creepy with very disturbing sound effects. Making good use of the woods in the daytime too.

This Jerk's gonna get what's coming to him.

The Sick Thing That Happened To Emily When She Was Younger (Directed by Joe Swanberg) is a Skype based horror (getting in there before Paranormal Activity 4) Showing a couple's online chats from different states as a presence in the girl's house get progressively more threatening. Although things aren't what they seem...

Ghost Children on Skype

10/31/98 (Directed by Radio Silence) Is, for my money the second best effort in here. Following a bunch of jocks on their way to a Halloween party. They turn up at the 'Haunted House' and play along with the scares that are happening around them. They then make a discovery in the attic which they don't find so fun... from then on, things get pretty bad for them. Featuring some of the best haunted / possessed house ideas I've seen.

"Bloody Hell!"

Best bits? The escape from the possessed house in 10/31/98. The Glitch Monster in Tuesday the 17th. The casting of the creepy girl in Amateur Night. 

Did it make you think thoughts? I was mostly disturbed by the behaviour of the men in this film. Pretty much every single on of them is misogynistic and a total loudmouth dick. A trait which was running though each of the individual stories. My fears were quashed slightly when it seemed that the womenfolk were settling some scores in pretty epic ways (Cock and Balls ripped off, etc - Amateur Night). Maybe they writers thought it necessary to make the men so unlikeable to make it more entertaining when they bite it?

Apart from this (although it is something which will mean that this won't find it's way onto my yearly Halloween horror fest) It's a film packed full of good ideas and that in a way is a little disappointing. To see a really good idea used for only 10 minutes feels a bit like a waste.

I didn't think the Tape 56 story which held the thing together was coherent or strong enough either.

Would you watch it again? I'll stick this on at some point when it get's a Blu Ray release (which would be totally pointless considering the VHS quality throughout). There are plenty of good scares and creepy moments.

Rating (out of 100%): A really tough call. Some of the stories would have scored really highly for me, but as it's delivered as a whole V/H/S gets a scary 57%.