In 7 words or less: Terminators get bothered by Christian Bale.
What's it all About? I have a controversial view that Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines was the next logical progression for the series:
• The Terminator - Low Budget Horror Chase Movie.
• Terminator 2 - Family Friendly Blockbusting Romp.
• Terminator 3 Rise of the Machines - Underrated, camp fun-time chase film with solid ending.
Working on this theory, Terminator Salvation should have been a hit West End musical featuring that guy from Hollyoaks. Sadly what we get is far more harrowing; a reboot of the Terminator series from the guy who directed Charlie's Angels 2 - Full Throttle.
The story focuses of a pivotal battle which marks a turning point in mankind's battle for survival. Featuring a young Kyle Reese, an old John Connor... and some other guys.
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| Bale looking at DOP on set. |
Best bits? The Sound! The movie's saving grace. The machines have genuinely creepy, glitchy sound effects. Making a couple of scenes really stand out. One of these is midway when Kyle Reese and his new friend come across a gas station where they find some survivors and a tasty snack. They are then attacked by a big harvester robot thingy which loves to scoop up humans so he can presumably eat their bones and wear their hair. Another standout scene is a digital cameo from a certain special someone... Swoon.
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| "Let off some steam" |
Did it make you think thoughts? There is so much wrong with this movie, it's difficult to know where to start. Mc Geeeeee was quoted as saying that he wanted this to be gritty like Children of Men. Which sounds excellent, the trouble is that it's similarity to that style is like when Battle LA aspired to be Black Hawk Down. It just falls so far from the mark.
The first problem that you'll notice is the edit. It's the most confusing sequence of images put together on film since Predator 2. We jump from a helicopter crash to a nuclear blast, next thing we know, Balester is free diving into the ocean and SWIMMING down to a submarine to talk to some fat cats.... it goes on. The structure is all over the place. I'm convinced that there is a more coherent, watchable film in here. But we're never going to see it.
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| Hello! |
Would you watch it again? Of course. It has terminators in it and, crap or not. When you're baked and you have a tub of cookie dough ice cream on the go, you are going to have fun. It's also fun to watch as one of those oddities of cinema. Dare'st you watch as Christian Bale realises he's throwing away his career.... gaze upon the worst script ever written... etc...
Rating (out of 100%): 51% A shocking mess. But there is still fun to be had.
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| Shoeless-Bitch has the right idea... |
